majorbonerkiller | 001▼video; action for Mahogany Town

[The video screen shook a bit, as Ivan seemed to be adjusting it after finally figuring out how the damn thing worked. His face took up the majority of the screen.

Amazing! This thing didn't even look like a camera, and it seemed to do a lot more than just that too. They had portable cameras where he came from, but video was a whole 'nother story.

There was a whine, obviously feral, and the camera shifted down to a small yellow rat. Or Pikachu, but Ivan preferred to call it a rat.]

Heh! And look at this thing--it fits into a ball!

[He shoves it with his foot. The "rat" protests again, sparking angrily. Ivan either ignores it or simply doesn't notice as he turns the camera back to his beautiful visage. The lens wasn't as close now, and his Soviet Major's uniform could be seen. He had refused to change into his new Rocket uniform.]

If somebody could explain to me how to get home, the only assholes I talked to--

[And that's about the last thing Ivan says (besides a surprised scream) as he gets a good shock and the feed ends.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ivan only narrows his eyes and raises a brow at the word "newbie", having no idea what it means.

He doesn't like your attitude, Missy.]

Keep using that tone and you'll regret it.

What about how we got here?

_{[It's okay, Ivan. Not many people like Heather's attitude.]

[Her brows go up and she actually scoffs.]}

Oh gosh. I'm quakin' in my rainboots.

Anyway, isn't it obvious?

Alien abduction.

_{[She has no idea. But he's getting annoyed with her and when that happens, it's basically like pressing a great big red button that says 'ANNOY ME MORE'.]

[... There's also something incredibly familiar about him, but she's thrown off by that Soviet uniform. ... It'll occur to her eventually, though.]}

[Not many people like Ivan's attitude either, ironically.]

... [He scowls a bit at her sarcasm.]

Alien abduction? Are you kidding me--you actually believe we're on another planet?

[That's what some of the others have been saying too.]

You were just given a banana-yellow rabbit that can shoot electricity out of its face and fit into ball the size of an apple and you're telling me you think we're on Earth?

_{[...she has no idea that she basically just described his boyfriend. ..... with the part about shooting electricity, not about fitting into balls the size of apples or being banana-yellow.]}

...it looks more like a rat to me. The electricity is...unique, but doesn't prove that we're on another planet.

[He looks off screen at Pikachu. If Volgin could do it, he guessed it wouldn't be impossible for a rodent, but...this thing handled it differently than the Colonel. It didn't need a suit, or...maybe that's what the ball was for?]

Edited 2011-02-24 03:45 (UTC)

Rat, rabbit, whatever. It's yellow and it's a living Van de Graaff generator. I dunno what kind of Earth you're from, but on mine, the only place where stuff like that exists is in Saturday morning cartoons.

[He's not going to mention that he can't quite remember what a Van de Graaff is, except that it probably has something to do with electricity.]

I always wondered what kind of ignorant fool you had to be to not know who Colonel Volgin is. Thunderbolt, to the American dogs?

_{[... Dull stare.]

[Colonel... Volgin? ... Yeah, not a household name, exactly. She raises a brow and takes another look at the person she's talking to. ... Army uniform. Not American, though. Well okay, buddy.]}

Do I look like a soldier to you?

I've never heard of anybody named 'Thunderbolt'.

Sounds like a male stripper name.

[Ivan's...speechless.]

[After a moment of that stunned silence he finally says something.

Well, more like shouts.]

How dare you insult the Colonel like that!? If he were here to hear that right now, you would be dead, woman!

_{[...no. No Ivan. Don't yell at her. Do you realize what you are doing??]

[At first, Heather looks slightly alarmed. Not so much about his anger, just the unexpected volume. But then, slowly, the corners of her mouth curl upwards into a big, toothy smirk.]

[Oh. OH. You mad, son. You mad.]}

'Colonel'... so that's what they're calling it these days.

_{[She obviously doesn't really think he's talking about a stripper, but... come on, it got such a good reaction!]}

You think you can just mock the most powerful man in Russia?! A little girl like you?

[Oh, he's mad all right.]

Well, I don't see anyone stopping me, so...

_{[Teenagers feed on stuck-up people getting mad. It is like their life force.]}

You're just lucky this is over video phone or I would come over there and stop you myself.

[And Ivan is like that kid who starts shouting and resorts to violence the moment he's insulted.]

I'm just a lucky duck like that, aren't I?

Anyway, love to see you try.

_{[These two will clearly be the best of friends.]}

[He scowled.]

Do you have a bite to match that big mouth of yours, little girl?

[Clearly.]

_{[The wolfish grin she's wearing is answer enough by itself, at least in terms of her obvious confidence, but she replies anyway.]}

More than enough.

Wanna see?

[Ivan is hardly intimidated, narrowing his eyes in response.]

If you're so eager to lose.

_{[She doesn't seem too bothered by his lack of being intimidated.]}

I'm in a city called Violet.

Better come quick, or I might keep insulting male strippers. And that's terrible.

[He scowled again, realizing he was unable to leave Mahogany.]

I don't have time to waste finding you. I'm waiting for a delivery.

Oh. I see how it is.

_{[See that Cheshire grin she's got? It's mocking you. It's mocking you oh so hard. IS THE ANGRY RUSSIAN MAN TOO FRIGHTENED TO COME FIGHT A TEENAGE GIRL? PO' BABY.]}

[Oh, Ivan sees it--and he hates it, but he has no choice. Yao was coming up to Mahogany to give him a Gyarados.]

You're foolish if you think I'm afraid of the likes of you. As soon as I have my delivery I'll get to you, brat.

_{[HEE HEE.]}

All right, but don't expect me to feel sympathetic if you chicken out!

_{[Was she being a cocky little jerk? Yes. But... it's been awhile since she's had a good fight. Besides, this guy practically picked it himself!]}

Don't expect me to take mercy when you beg for it.

[~~RAGEQUITS~~ ends feed.]

001▼video; action for Mahogany Town

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[Video] gurl you be trollin'

[Video] they see me trollin, they hatin

[Video] tryin' to catch me buggin' Russians

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