FISSIONMAILED: Somethin' to eat?

[majorbonerkiller]

[After this and this.]

Your eye--Volgin, we have to get you to the doctor. Look at you, you're limping!

[Raikov, tried to get in front of the giant, to stop him from just walking aimlessly down the hall. The doctor was in the opposite direction!]

Comments

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Grunt. Volgin shook his head, pausing his step as Raikov placed himself in his way.]

It's nothing. It's been several hours and I'm not dead yet. I'll survive this...

[Humiliated and beaten down by his enemies in a span of hours and now missing an eye. Hardly nothing, but simpering over it was not going to get him anywhere either. His remaining eye snapped about the hall, searching.

Snake had only one eye, and still he bested him...]

Just get me a kit, and we'll talk. [He eyed the missing hand.] Better me than you.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Where do you expect me to find one? We'll either have to go back to my apartment or to the doctor anyway, so let's just cut out the middle man!

[Ivan looked worried, brow creased and lips curved into a frown. It definitely wasn't a look for such a pretty face--or so he would probably muse to himself.]

Better somebody else than either of us.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

What if the doctors are on their side? What would you like them to do? Finish me off?

[Volgin took off, scouring the walls for something to clean the crust of blood and fluids that have hardened on the side of his face, giving him the look of being mutilated on both sides. He could feel the crust pull at his skin as he spoke.

He was never meant for any other surgeon's table other than the one that created him in the first place, and they were gone. His trained personnel he had hired from his limitless funding were the same way. He did not trust the medical personnel here.]

Ah, see?

[Volgin tore at a first aid kit nestled into a nook, then turned to a random door.]

Come on.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

All the doctor's I've been to were fine. They just fixed me up and I le--

[Seems Volgin had done the impossible, and actually found something he was looking for.]

Nothing more than blind luck. Fine.

[Relenting, Ivan followed Volgin where ever he wanted to take him.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[And Volgin ducked into the room, hit by the smell of... livestock. The lights were warmly lit overhead, the walls of this curiously large room the brown comfort of wood. The Soviet found himself surrounded by animals, and nearly, as he dodged the round beasts curiously eying him, stepped into a pile of fresh goat dung. A large, spotted goat with long, curving horns and an even longer coat, resembling more a mop head, bleeted indignantly as his knee knocked into its cushioned side.

Volgin gave Raikov a look, before stepping over a fence to duck behind a pair of llamas, still chewing with calm indifference. He set the kit on the dirt floor and opened it.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[Ivan wrinkled his nose in disgust almost the moment they entered the room.]

What is this, a farm? We can't do anything in here--Yevgeny--?

[But Volgin had already made his way inside, leaving Ivan standing, still disgusted, at the entrance.]

This isn't even sanitary! Ugh...

[He unwillingly made his way over to Volgin, refusing to sit down on the dirt.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Lay low!

[Volgin was used to these conditions, having been on worse during the War. For one, the dirt was not soaked with blood.

He found the antiseptic and, wincing as his pant leg made an audible strrrppp as the dried bloody adhesive gave away, he poured it right in, hissing as it bubbled. Reaching for the gauze, he proceeded to dab the wound and clean the blood away. The state of his patella was another matter: The bastard broke it, he could feel the pieces, and no doubt he would be forced to bed-rest at the worst possible time. Staying put would be death, with his former subordinate knowing this place to his disadvantage prowling about. He did not know how many Ocelots were out there, but all of them were threats.

His single eye made a brief survey of the musky room for possible snipers.

Meanwhile, a little red goat, with tiny pointed horns, ambled towards Raikov, taking some of his pant leg in its small mouth.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[Ivan watched Volgin, aggravated that he was forced to stand near a bunch of disgusting farm animals.]

You know, we have just moved one door down, but no--you had to pick the room with foul smelling animals and shit all over the ground--

[The goat startled him, and Ivan jumped back.]

Shoo! [He put a boot in its face.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Volgin snorted:]

Think like a soldier, Ivan! The animals are providing cover!

[Yet, his knee would be best seen by a doctor, unfortunately. Not to mention his remaining eye socket, for best measure (although he still sensed his original eye there, but his lids -- felt nothing). Anger boiled inside of him, as he cleaned his face. That bastard, Ocelot!

The goat's teeth still had Ivan's pant leg, tugging at it as the boot pushed its face away.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

They're too small for cover, and they stink--AND THEY'RE EATING MY CLOTHES!

[Ivan grabbed the goat's face, trying to pry it's mouth off of his jodhpurs.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[The goat released, maa-hing at the younger man. Its small, upright tail wiggled.]

I said: "Lay low!" You use them as cover, not stand like a fool expecting them to disguise you for you!

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

You're kidding me if you think I'm going to sit with a bunch of farm animals and let them touch me!

[Ivan scowled at the goat, walking to the other side of Volgin to get away from it.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[If much to Ivan's dismay, the little goat might be following him, if with those slitted eyes at the ready to beg for food (despite the large pile of hay just nearby).]

Ivan, a soldier's work is never the most glamorous.

[He just about finished cleaning his face, several soiled gauze pads forming a pile nearby.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[Now Ivan was going in circles, trying to avoid the wretched thing.]

It is the way I do it--not sitting in a farm while I clean my wounds!

[colonelcrotchgrab]

I'm taking cover. I'm not cleaning my wounds in the hall where some fool could put me down when I have only one eye!

[Even worse, the small goat had run of the place, able to squeeze through the fencing in its pursuit of Ivan. He probably had food and was not sharing it!]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

There's other rooms you know, clean ones!

[Ivan hightailed it, climbing on top of a couple crates to get out of the goat's reach.

Unless it could jump up onto the crates and follow...]

Get this thing away from me!

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[The little goat bucked in the air with each occasional stride after the other Soviet, still wiggling its small tail. It cheerfully maa-hed at him. It also was more than willing to take on the challenge of the crates.

It was a good jumper.

Eventually, Volgin looked up, past the two idling llamas that were his company, and snickered to himself. The great Ivan Raidenovich Raikov, pride of the Red Army, was fleeing a small, harmless farm animal.]

We could fatten that and make a fine meal of it...

[The giant took his time, limping over and wincing with each step, as the offending goat was practicing its jump.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[Ivan pressed himself as far away from the edge of the crate as he could manage, back against a flimsy shed.]

I don't want to eat it, who eats goat meat? Let's take a sheep, if we're going to cook something!

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Volgin's remaining eye blinked.]

I thought that was a lamb.

[The goat maa-hed at Raikov again, propping its hooves against the side of the crate.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

A lamb? You're not blind, Yevgeny, you still have one eye.

[He offered a flat look.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Volgin appeared honestly confused, as the Ivan's friend still wagged that little tail.]

Isn't it a sheep? It looks like a sheep to me.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

No, it's a goat, look at it! It's clearly a goat.

[Ivan didn't understand how anybody could confuse the two.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Volgin never really paid much mind to farm animals, except when it came time to select one for slaughter.

He finally reached the goat, and scooped it up. It maa-hed and wriggled, but he was able to keep it, for the most part, in his thick arms. He dodged a hoof to the face.]

Look at it. It looks like a lamb to me!

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

No, you look at it. It's a goat!

[Ivan pointed at the thing's tail.]

The tail sticks up.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[A grunt. Volgin manipulated the small, rambunctious goat around, to look at its posterior.

Indeed, the tail was upright. And still wagging.]

Don't sheep have the same sorts of tails?