FISSIONMAILED: Apartment complex

[majorbonerkiller]

Well Ivan certainly didn't remember leaving the door to his apartment wide open, just beckoning squatters to come shit on his carpet--or even worse, eat his food.

Not that they weren't all squatters here anyway. Ivan crouched down near the door frame, pulling out his tranquilizer gun. He peered over the threshold, and took a chance, hoping his dog was still here--and still alive.

"Galina! Here girl!"

When he heard the familiar patter and panting he sighed in relief, ruffling her ears when she was close enough, "Good girl." Curse himself for smiling at a time like this.

Slightly more confident now with his canine comrade, Ivan entered the dark apartment, keeping his footsteps quiet and his tranquilizer at the ready.

And he almost immediately tripped over his own dirty laundry, screaming in the process of mid-falling terror. Luckily his amazing acrobatic skills (catching himself on the dresser) came to the rescue.

Moving forward towards the center of the room Ivan could hear--breathing. He baited his breath, trying to hold back any instincts to just start shooting up the place. He was fueled by a sort of cocktail of terror and anger--how dare somebody come waltzing into his apartment thinking they own the goddamn place?!

He padded closer, towards the sounds of life--they must be on the couch, since he just knocked his knee on the coffee table and had to hiss in silent agony a moment before going on.

Finally steadying himself he located the perpetrator's head after several seconds (a whole minute of squinting) and pressed the muzzle of his gun against it, "Get up!"

Comments

[colonelcrotchgrab]

"Your legs, likely. Not enough on your stomach."

As Volgin chanced death and destruction by lifting a hand towards the pot of macaroni. It smelled pretty good, even if he was ... a competent cook in the interests of appeasing the palette of the other Raikov he knew.

(The chef was accused of treason and was appropriately taken care of. Vanya was not pleased with this. Lover's devotion sometimes had Volgin broaden his horizons into a lot of stupid things.)

Fighting with dogs, tables, and Majors took a lot out of a man of his age.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

"More sit-ups...," he sighed in defeat.

Ivan, in no mood to fight or make sudden movements, just lifted the bowl out of Volgin's initial reach.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

"Mmmhmm," the giant rolled.

Not a completely successful attempt: Volgin still had a fairly good reach, enough to pilfer the spoon and what was clinging on to it. He helped himself to that, polishing the utensil with a few good licks.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan looked completely affronted (and shocked) that Volgin would even dare. He leaned over to snatch his spoon back, and then began shoveling macaroni into his mouth.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Volgin damn well dared.

"Are you going to eat all that cold?" he pointed out. "It might taste a little better warm."

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan had already made it through a good portion of the bowl before he stopped to acknowledge Volgin.

A swallow.

"It tastes pretty good to me."

He licked his lips. You can't have any, Yevgeny.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Until Yevgeny made for a harsh yank of the bowl.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

It caught Ivan so off guard Volgin actually got the bowl.

Until Ivan grabbed the rim and tugged.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

"I'm going to make this better," Volgin said in-a-manner-of-factly way. His strength held up well against the other man, and Volgin had to wonder how well when he was slowly rising to his feet and holding it up to his chest.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

"Let go of my food, Yevgeny!" Ivan scrunched his brow and wore a stern look.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Volgin furrowed his brow in return and experimentally lifted the bowl above his head, likely touching the ceiling and more likely hovering the face of an irritated Raikov close to his own.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan stretched his arms up to keep hold of the bowl--being forced to rise to his knees in the process.

He glared at Volgin's face, but it was so close to his own it made him go a bit cross eyed, causing him to repeatedly blink or refocus.

"Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin."

[colonelcrotchgrab]

The large, hawkish nose did not budge. Neither was the bowl now kissing the ceiling if by the aid of the large outstretched arms overhead and now standing posture.

"Yes?" was his calm reply. "That is my full name. I have not forgotten it."

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan still clung to the bowl despite being suspended, his feet hanging uselessly and awkwardly below him.

"Nngh--let go Yevgeny!" He swung his leg, trying to hit Volgin in the crotch.

Of course it was difficult to build up enough momentum for it to actually hurt; he more thudded uselessly against Volgin more than anything.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

"I am trying to help you," Volgin nonchalantly drifted, the leg patting his belly and groin with a nearly harmless pomf. He remained firm, an expected constant Ivan would have been very intimately familiar with by now.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan's fingers were starting to hurt from gripping the small edge of the bowl, and with a low growl he let go, landing squarely on his feet.

Then Ivan punched him in the chest.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Not surprisingly, Volgin absorbed the blow, giving Raikov a look, a small victory, before he coolly turned around to take the bowl to the microwave.

The younger man might have heard Volgin nibble at another spoonful.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan followed him, initially fuming silently until...

He punched him in the shoulder for daring to take a spoonful, "Stop eating my food."

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Pomp.

"I don't eat as much as you." He held up the spoon, up past his shoulder and wiggled it, cleaned with sticky Volgin-spit. The giant Soviet rounded the corner to survey the small kitchen, eying about what was there. Curling an arm around the bowl, he brought another out to probe and search.

Mutter: "I saw a spice rack in here, somewhere."

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

"But I was in the middle of eating that," Ivan glowered at the spoon.

Galina suddenly bounded into the room, then out the other end. Ivan focused his attention on her until she left, then looked back to Volgin.

"What was that?" He referred to the mutter.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

"You could do better."

Volgin amazingly ignored the dog, tearing open a cabinet and taking a few things out. Spices, pepper... He was making his way to the fridge as well, intent on something.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan's interest began to pique as he saw Volgin pull out some flavour enhancers--as he liked to call them.

"It was just a snack," Ivan commented. A snack in a large, macaroni filled bowl enough for two.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Or really one, given Ivan's ravenous appetite. Two consisted of what could Volgin sneak away in small spoonfuls.

As it was, it was not... bad (coming from a man who had eaten tree bark and leather and a bullet casing for survival reasons), but in the grand branching tree of possibility, his particular time line allowed him to possess the ability to improve it.

"I learned something," he quickly chuffed, as dedicated to his work as anything he found worth putting his efforts into.

Volgin surveyed the fridge, grabbed a few things, and set that aside, finally relinquishing the bowl with it. He took some time to think, before taking a whiff of the bowl's contents. A powdery pepper container was snapped up, and the giant whiffed at that, then the macaroni again.

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Ivan's mouth had begun to water as he watched the Colonel toy with his food and spices. Then something profound occurred to him--, "are you cooking me something, Yevgeny?"

A grin spread across the small Soviet's face threatening to tear it in two. His eyelids fell half-mast, his arms crossed, and Ivan went into the usual tirade of false superiority, "well, I do deserve it after the mess you made. And I guess I'll let that whole incident of you falling asleep in the middle of giving me a blowjob pass~ For now."

He licked his lips and sashayed closer, peering over the bowl to try and guess what Volgin had planned.

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Volgin was very aware that cooking typically was a task relegated to women, but this... Ivan might have been aware of the circumstances that occurred back at Groznyj Grad, he would think. If not, anyone that questioned him, especially in regards to his masculinity, was taking it directly to his knuckles.

Raikov received an affirmative grunt.

But, Volgin was more interested in this simple task of making this bowl of macaroni into a tongue-based orgasm than whatever Raikov, any Raikov, thought anyway. Another round of sniffing, then the giant Soviet thought again.

Then, he took a strategic bit of this, a dash of that. Stir, sniff. A little more of this, add that. A slight taste.

Ah.

A sagely nod, when Volgin turned towards Raikov, and almost right into him, when he immediately found him nearby. His previous mood seemed to be completely dispelled, if his gestures and little mannerisms were any obvious indication. How intriguing.

"Don't need to heat it up now." Volgin turned away from the bowl and mess of spices he scrounged up. "I think it'll do."